I
just go there
Because I live in a one bedroom apartment with two kids and my beloved the bathroom is my designated office/sanctuary..
Still, I wake up every morning no later than 5:30 (before the little ones) and hope with all my heart that they will not awake before my 45 minute meditation is over.
I brush my teeth and bowl cleanse. I then seat myself cross legged with my back to the tub, and place my palms in my chosen mudra position on my knees.
I take a deep breath and I'm already sinking into a place of peace, self forgiveness and acceptance.
I take 9 more full lung filling breaths and breath out fully through my nose.
After than I start another kind of breath: I breath out forcefully tightening my lower abdomen while allowing it to expand back naturally. I do this for 10 minutes all the while envisioning all physical and spirit poisons forced out of my body making room for pure warming light to fill the gaps left by their exit.
I proceed to do deep expulsion breaths, - I breath in deep and blow air out for the length of a minute, at the end of each breath my tummy feels (and looks) sucked all the way to my back and I remain with it completely depleted of air for as long as I can. This particular kind of breath leaves my feeling absolutely cleansed and emptied of all lurking inner enemies, physical and spiritual alike.
I then will do 10 Om breaths, breathing out to the sound of my own voice and keeping it as long as I can (at least one minute). This kind of breathing always makes me feel (at least while I'm doing it) connected to the universe and being part of something beyond myself.
After this, I use my right hand to close right nostril with my thumb and use third and forth fingers to alternately close the left, I do this for 10 minutes while focusing on the light and on having good intentions for the day with forgiveness and patience especially toward my Georgia and Wilder with whom I spend every waking minute and often lose it.
After focusing on all this goodness and light I sit surrounded by a feeling inner peace (which I know won't last long, by I relish it) and allow myself to breath naturally for a while.
When I feel ready to let go of this place (which is hard) I snap my fingers and open my eyes charged with inner power and motivation I footsteps and someone (Georgia, Wilder?) is at the bathroom door already. I unfold my numb legs and emerge to face my day prepared and brave.
It doesn't take away my tendency toward unpredicted outbursts when I've had it up to . . . and I lose it. But over time (a long time) I am gaining a sense of understanding, acceptance and a newly acquired ability to loosen up and let go, which I know I never possessed before. It's an ongoing process though - God isn't everything. . . .
And for desert Grape fruit yogurt cake from smitten kitchen which also inspired the Pizza (with Mario Batalli's dough which I did not love even with Smitten's adaptations, but I blame myself, because I used whole wheat flour rather than regular, I always stubbornly make changes, I just have to - so annoying I am).
This cake is what happened directly after I announced (on the post before this one) that I'm ready to make Olive Oil muffins.
It's another law in life for me - whatever I plan and absolutely intend to do never happens.
I should learn to count on this law and anticipate the forthcoming failure to launch, but somehow I am always freshly surprised.
As Georgia likes to say, whenever we get sarcastic and and give her silly answers:
"I'm not gullible!" Yes you are!
as for lat night sex, I know I haven't been reporting about it as dutifully as was my intention when I started this blog, but as you may imagine that's because there wasn't that much to report.
Yes, I have to admit I have sunk into a period (almost two weeks) where I just wanted very little to do with any of it. And as much as I thought I was just going to conquer all that by simply "doing" the "easier said than done" law has proven me wrong yet again.
But to cut a long story short, last night we had some wild bathroom sex that made for a good angel sleep.
To be fair, I will also admit to my nonexistent readers that during these past two weeks some very real, yet unreported issues encroached grossly on my already naturally frowning disposition. These "issues" contributed to my mood dips during this period of abstinence, really, not just hormones - the ever blamable cause for everything feminine (and I resent this vehemently!)
But life goes on, and sex is part of it when you have a partner. So I'm feeling better today and hoping to have much more "betterness" to report at least in the near future as I can't account for much further (-:
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